Site guide
Welcome to visitors from USA, SWEDEN, aUSTRALIA, Ireland, Saudi Arabia, BRAZIL, CANADA, PHIlipines, NIGERIA, RUSSIA, gERMANY & NETHERLANDS.....ROCK ON!
AS WELL AS THIS GUIDE PAGE, THERE ARE THREE MUSIC VIDEO PAGES PLUS ONE INNOVATIVE ROCK AND ROLL DANCE PAGE. REMEMBER THAT THEY DO NOT ALL CONTAIN MUSIC!
Access the other pages from the Site Guide Menu Bar above
If you wish to contact me, please use the chat facility below, or: infokernowmick@gmail.com I also have a Facebook page
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All heads of governments etc need someone to confide in at home. Someone to reassure them, and to provide loving support in bad times. Trump has a giant mirror who tells him he is doing everything right, everyone else is wrong and how fantastic he looks. Melania is in the next room throwing up
Slideshow
Most of the world wants to do this......
Only Brits will understand this?
Government remains shut down, so it's back on the Mall. As Olly would say "it's another fine mess!"
When they met in Alaska, Putin was just taking the pith
Even on the beach, people spell what they think of him
The resistance & public frustration is growing......
Over 50,000 illegal immigrants since Labour took control. Protests growing outside all the hotels used to house them at tax payer's expense. Now over 150,000 claiming asylum support of £50 a week while also being given free NHS treatment and many other benefits. See Immigration section below. OVER 32,000 ILLEGAL SCROUNGERS THIS YEAR. Nearly 1000 EVERY DAY
These and U.J flags flying everywhere, including on pot holes.......Council fixes them immediately! Thousands demonstrating in London
Should old offenses be forgot?
Becoming a popular chant across the USA
The Melaniator
NASA are concerned that these two mouths may contain other galaxies
The size of his ego
UK seems to be heading for the Far Age. FFS!
Beware the new Gaza Peace Keeping Administrator. Bliar
Kemi's Maggie hits
Andrew. Diary of a paedo
Blair's rebuilding Services
Diary of a paedo
Oh yes it is!
Number one Stones tribute band.......ROLLING CLONES. Taking the mick
Tim Curry (Rocky Horror) also taking the mick
I don’t want to upset people and realise how beneficial believing can be, but the fact is that Jesus wasn’t born on 25 December and no date is given anywhere. It was impossible for the Magi and shepherds to have been there on the same night e.g. the Magi followed a star that only appeared upon his birth. The two gospel accounts of his birth conflict – how? The only witnesses were his parents. Who delivered him? The Basilica of the Nativity was apparently built on the site of the stable. How did they know over 35 years later, where he was born? It would have been developed. Downstairs you can kiss the exact spot where he was born……how can they prove that?! The four Gospels were not written by the names given to them and written forty or fifty years after his supposed death. Why take so long to record such a famous person? Emperor Constantine created Christianity by issuing an Edict of Milan in 313 and proclaimed himself to be one. It was created to subdue great civil unrest to give the Jews somebody to believe in. There are other examples of the story we are given that just don’t make sense. THESE FACTS ARE EASILY FOUND IN THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST. GOOGLE . The Archbishop of Canterbury had to resign as he admitted there was so much child abuse that he could not cope with it all, even though it was part of his very well paid responsibility. KING CHARLES IS HEAD OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND All members of the same club
All the little boys will now continue being abused as the new Pope will not do anything about it........as he's happy living in luxury promoting the biggest lie on Earth...AaaaaaMEN!
Where the idea came from to create the Jesus person
Murphy has own nail making business, and he wants it to be the best in the world. So he goes to a top advertising agency to have them create a marketing strategy. The agency assures him they can create a memorable advertising campaign in a week. The following week Murphy goes back to the agency and is shown in to a small theatre to view the finished commercial. The lights go off and screen springs into life. On the screen is a sunset over a desert. The camera pans around to a hill and zooms in to the top of the hill. At the top of the hill is a wooden pole. The camera climbs up the pole to where a couple of feet are hanging. It then carries on up to a man's torso, up to his face, and there is Jesus' face. It then moves along an outstretched arm, to a hand pinned firmly to a stake by a gleaming nail. On the nail is proudly emblazoned: "Murphy's Nails" A caption appears on the screen "Murphy's nails - they'll never let you down" Murphy is outraged, "You'll get me shut down," he screams, "That's blasphemous! I'll give you a week to come up with a decent campaign or I'll go elsewhere.” A week later Murphy goes back to the advertising agency and is shown into the theatre. "This had better be an improvement" he warns. The lights dim and the screen leaps into life. On the screen is a Roman street with lots of people milling about. The camera then pans quickly to left to see Jesus running like hell being pursued by two Roman guards. The camera then zooms in on the two guards, to catch one saying to the other "This would never have happened if we'd used Murphy's nails. "
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy(Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are. "And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began.
13 page Sports slideshow
Humanoid table tennis
Liam's changed a bit, but still the only handcuffed lead singer, who now wears a hat!
Great talent
Now and then.......
Many more of these characters can be found on my Rock and Roll Dance Show page with loads of music etc. Click the black arrow...........but beware.....they don't all contain music, and not for the easily offended!
Animal training
Photo by NASA satellite orbiting Mars
Living next door to Ali....
Snow is the only thing that settles in the UK and doesn't claim benefit
The Government cannot account for all the illegal immigrants entering this country, who are creating many no-go areas, particularly in London. Therefore, the Metropolitan Police have updated their riot procedures. They'll put Persil in the water cannons, to stop the coloureds from running.
Springsteen. Now & then
Hollywood brothers & sisters
Actually available from Amazon
Women & I.T. You don't know how to navigate web sites, so.......ask a man
Was Cilla black, was Barry white and was Marvin Gay? It's just that Stevie wonders
Body & hand painting slideshow
Status Quo. Roll over Beethoven
Brilliant......
BBC highest paid presenters
Does not include many well known presenters like Claudia Winkleman & Michael McKintyre who are paid by BBC Studios. TV personalities loathe their salaries being made public, as it affects their image
Remember his films and tv programmes?
Good irish joke
The Palace publicity team are promoting William & Kate extensively on Facebook, partly due to the growing resentment towards them by millions who realise their true characters.
At least two anti-royal groups on Facebook: Down with the Crown & These groups are extremely popular.
Now known as Camill-ugh!
It is obvious that Jesus did not exist, yet Charles has to believe as Head of Church of England. He keeps the child abusing clergy in a job! He couldn't be King without them.........A right Charlie!
Trying to live a life so out of touch with reality is too much. Being married to an old bat doesn't help
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your Mother’s maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are too busy to talk to you.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s - l - o - w - l - y & c - a - r - e - f - u - l - l - y press 0 0 0.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
Kids' Jailhouse Rock
NHS Sperm doning
Oldest performing rock stars
Richard Starkey....as he is todye
THE DRUG
(to the tune of “She Loves You”)
I’m addicted to a drug,
And it’s not the illegal kind,
It’s the one that gives the most,
And stimulates the mind.
CHORUS:
It is running, & it never can be bad,
Yea this running, it can make you really glad, ooh,
I love it, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love it, yeah, yeah, yeah,
And without this drug, I’m very very sad.
To improve you need a dose,
From a club to learn the right way,
And they will then ensure,
That it's taken weekly and Sunday.
This drug’s crucial for life,
And of the cheapest kind,
Ensuring you’re happy and sane,
With endorphins from the brain.
I only stop you see,
When I pick up an injury,
And then I have to rest,
Putting my patience to the test.
It has no age limit,
For those who want to take it,
And I intend you see,
To keep it up........indefinitely!
If a famous pop band played where Harry Potter studied....you'd get BEATLEWARTZ
slideshow
The hundreds demonstrating for various reasons, including those opposing the thousands of illegal immigrants (scroungers), creates a huge thirst, so they need something really refreshing. Made entirely by those living in the jungle....so it really works and is available in UK
